How the Typical Thai Views the Cheap-Hippy-Backpacker

Yes. I hate to spoil the ego-party, but it’s true, cheap-hippy-backpacker, you are not only highly unappreciated for your superior cultural hypersensitivity/spirit-quest attitude, but are also thought of even less than your archenemy -- the narrow-minded, shopping crazed, beach resort yuppie tourist. Even though the cheap-hippy backpacker may be seeking the deeper cultural experience abroad, mostly the local population could just care less – with the attitude in the homegrown tourist industry being: If you ain’t here to spend, then you might as well not be here at all. And, cheap-hippy-backpacker, let’s face it, you are definitely not in Thailand to spend.

So, by all means, cheap-hippy-backpacker, continue your quest (And don't get me wrong, I'm a cheap-hippy-backpacker, too). But, at the same time, don’t get “blown away” when the local tuk-tuk driver shoots you dirty looks as your strolling down the street, refusing his services, because you’d rather save the extra baht for a crappy banana lassi at your favorite cheap-hippy-backpacker guesthouse.

Play the Banana Boat

As many of you might already know, I am an EFL teacher. As a teacher, I have a philosophy: I teach you once and you don’t learn, I teach you again; I teach you twice and you don’t learn, I still teach you again; BUT, I teach you 27 times and you still don’t learn, well, then I just humiliate you on the internet.

For those of you who don’t know, this is a banana boat:

You drag them around in the water, generally, behind some kind of motorized watercraft producing a high-adrenaline, wetty sensation for the passengers clinging to the overpriced yellow tube at high speeds. Thai students are absolutely bonkers about these things. Every time I ask them to write something on the topic of “fun,” the phrase “I play the banana boat,” rears its ugly head. So I suggest to them, “ride a banana boat” as a more eloquent alternative. I also tell them that we mostly use ‘play the’ with a musical instrument, like a guitar or piano. They say, “OK.” And it seems to be problem solved. Then the next paper arrives: At weekend I playing the banana boat wit my friends. So I correct them again. And then the next paper arrives: I like play the banana boat. OK, you’re not listening to me. Say this, “rode a banana boat.” Still doesn’t help.

So, Teerayut, Meen, Em, Samawat, Waedah, and all you other thickheaded students, I stand corrected. These photos are evidence that one can actually play the banana boat. A thousand apologies.